“I had it up to here with you characters. If you don’t shape up, I’m sending in the Babylonians. They’re a nasty bunch. They’re chomping at the bit. I’ll just take down the Stop sign—that’s all it will take.“
Israelites: “Nice bluff. Forget it. We’re holding.”
God: “Okay then, make way for them. Some people have to learn the hard way.”
Israelites: (upon checking the internet news and starting to pee their pants): “Whoa whoa whoa!—not everyone here is slobbering over idols. Some are behaving.”
God: “Got it. Too late to stop the falling ax. Tough times and all. However, anyone behaving, staying true—just go out and surrender to the Chaldeans. You’ll be okay.”
Israelites: “What!? No way! What about fighting for the Fatherland—for God and country?!”
God: “I’m the Father. And God. The country’s gone when I say it is. Do it.”
Babylon does invade. Pretty nasty, too.
When King Zedekiah of Judah and all the soldiers saw them, they fled, going out of the city by night by way of the king’s garden, through the gate between the double wall, and they continued by the way of the Arabah. But the Chaldean army chased after them, and they overtook Zedekiah in the desert plains of Jericho. They captured him and brought him up to King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon at Riblah in the land of Hamath, where he passed sentence on him. The king of Babylon had the sons of Zedekiah slaughtered before his eyes there at Riblah, and the king of Babylon had all the nobles of Judah slaughtered. Then he blinded the eyes of Zedekiah, after which he bound him with copper fetters to bring him to Babylon. (Jeremiah 39:4-7)
The ones that had surrendered to the Babylonians, did okay, not counting inconvenience. The connected ones among them were taken to Babylon where they could no longer connect—but they could live and even thrive there. The lowly ones got to remain in the land and the Babylonians appointed a king for them: Gedeliah.
As if from an ex/Israelite website, schemes arise to overthrow Gedeliah—all from self-styled “reformers” and “whistleblowers,” intent on bringing back the old days. Gedeliah, a decent chap, but also just as naive as a guy could be, can’t believe people could be so scheming as Ishmael and his bunch prove to be. He gets a report of evil underfoot, but dismisses it:
“Then Johanan the son of Kareah secretly told Gedeliah in Mizpah: “I want to go and strike down Ishmael the son of Nethaniah, and no one will know. Why should he kill you, and why should all the people of Judah who have gathered to you be scattered and the remnant of Judah perish?” But Gedeliah the son of Ahikam said to Johanan the son of Kareah: “Do not do this, for what you are saying concerning Ishmael is a lie.” (Jeremiah 40:15-16)
It wasn’t a lie. Ishmael did kill him and led the remaining Jews either into Egypt or back to idolatry. Back in idolatry, they started to think that their woes had not been Jehovah at all, but that they had eased up on the idols in the first place:
Israelites: “We shall [continue to] make sacrificial smoke to the ‘queen of the heavens’ and to pour out to her drink offerings, just as we ourselves and our forefathers, our kings and our princes did in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem, when we used to be satisfied with bread and to be well off, and we did not see any calamity at all. And from the time that we ceased to make sacrificial smoke to the ‘queen of the heavens’ and pour out drink offerings to her we have lacked everything, and by the sword and by the famine we have come to our finish.” (Jeremiah 44:18)
God: “NO, NO, NO, NO! How can you be so stupid!? This has nothing to do the queen of the heavens. Did the queen tell you that you’d be toast? Didn’t I tell you upfront through Jeremiah and even other prophets like Isaiah that this was going to happen?!”
Israelites: “Correlation is not causation. Do you have any evidence?”
****** The bookstore
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