We knew from the get-go that our rescued dog had a thing for chasing cats. What we didn’t know was that it had a flair for song-writing.
(Sung to the tune of I Am the Walrus)
I am lean. My plate is clean. Those cats convene and I am going to nab one.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
I’m trying
Tired of eating cornflakes, waiting for a cat to come
Maybe in a tee-shirt. Maybe on a Tuesday
Man, I’m having joy, I’ve been away too long
I’ll nab a cat, man! I’ll nab a cat, man!
Like it never saw us, ooh-ooh-oo’ooh!
It’s not hardly easy-peasy, feeling queasy, pesky cats they’ve all been laying low!
See how they fly when I’m coming by. See how they run
I’m trying, I’m trying
I’m trying, I’m trying
Mangy cats are busted, No chance they’ll be slipping from my eye
Gripe a lot, you dish-wipes, Mourn a lot, you feces
Boy, you’ve been some naughty cats, you let your guard way down
I’ll nab a cat, man! I’ll nab a cat, man!
Like it never saw us, ooh-ooh-oo’ooh!
(Radio tuning noise, music, then a British voice:
“You men get those cats off the table.”)
Sitting in an English garden hoping for a visit from one so dumb
If it doesn’t come, I’ll don a coat and track it in the English rain
I’ll nab a cat, man! I’ll nab a cat, man!
Like it never saw us, ooh-ooh-oo’ooh!
Slinking, stinking, reeking felines,
Don’t you think I sit and laugh at you? (ha ha ha hee hee hee ho ho ho)
See how I smile like pigs in a sty, see how I snie
I’m trying
Salmon tuna goldfish, swimming up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguins singing Hari Krishna
None of them will save ya, not munching even escargot.
I’ll nab a cat, man! I’ll nab a cat, man!
Like it never saw us, ooh-ooh-oo’ooh!
(Rising orchestral musical accompaniment):
shoot her shoot her
Oompa oompa, everybody oompa
Oompa oompa, everybody oompa
Everybody
Well, I told you fine blokes. I don’t see any cats around!
Wait
Look over there
“Oh, untimely death!”
Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about!
****** The bookstore
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