Sheep and Goats

Category: Meetings

  • We Will Not be Able to Do it Perfectly

    In the midst of Sunday’s study article on how we might batten down the hatches yet further on wrong conduct, was this frank statement:  ‘We will not be able to do that perfectly.’

    No. We will not. Too many beat themselves up trying to do things perfectly. They ought not. Dust yourself off and jump back in the fray anew.

    Also from that same study article, considered February 5:

    ‘For instance, a man tells his boss or fellow workers that he cannot be at work the next day or that he must leave early because he has a “medical” appointment. In fact, his “medical” appointment is merely a brief stop at a pharmacy or a quick visit to the doctor’s office to pay a bill. His real reason for not being at work is so that he can get a head start on a trip or so that he can take his family to the beach. There may have been a grain of truth in his mentioning a “medical” appointment, but would you say that he was being honest? Or was he being deceptive?’

    The friends were intrigued over this point and many discussed it at the special Bible study meetings held at individual homes that  night.  Some were distracted, however,   Imageby a football game playing in the background.

    Photo: Vic

    Tom Irregardless and Me  ***   No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash

  • The New Songbook

    That last note of Make the Truth Your Own is one high, towering triumphant blast of a note….you climb as you approach it, and then reach way back in your lungs for every ounce of power to, not just belt it out, but sustain it. Each verse ends just that way, and then reverts into the chorus. On a recent rendition, Tom Whitepebble is ready. He bides his time. He waits for the song to come around. There! The moment has arrived. He nails that high note, with all his might!…..“believe what he tells you is truuuue…..!”

    What the……?!  The note's been changed! It's no longer that high crescendo! Now it's just some low-key humdrum note! Worse yet….everyone knows it except him! He's hanging out there all by himself, and they all turn to stare! The new songbook strikes again! Whitepebble looks clear across the hall at me (who is merely minding my own business) and mouths “Why?!”

    I know why, of course. It's on account of a woman named Pearl, who is the wife of Tom Pearlsandswine, and who attends the congregation across town, where I used to attend. She loves to sing….we have a lot of people who love to sing….but she really isn't that….um…..good. And when that final note used to come….that final note of each of the three verses, she'd let out a long piercing ape-like shriek that was enough to make you think “how come we don't have a paid choir, like the big churches do?” Moreover,  the way the song was constructed…..you held that last note, so there's no way anyone could ignore her braying in their midst.

    I tell you, no one could keep a straight face. Worse, you knew it was coming….the verse built towards it…. so well before that climactic moment, snickering began. So, in the new songbook, they've changed that last note to some bland thing that any clod can handle. What else could they do?

    It's not easy to write a review of the new songbook….we've been using it for ….what?….a year or two, now?…..because…because we're accustomed to praising anything we get as being exactly the food we need served up at just the right time, and don't think I'm about to break that tradition! Everything needs updating from time to time, we all know that. We'd used that old songbook for 25 years or so, as we had used the one prior to that. We had ample notice a new one was coming.  It wasn't sprung on us as a surprise. There was even encouragement to practice the melodies so as not to mess them up at the upcoming assembly…..you know how you'll sing a new song real anemic because you're not sure if the next note will be up or down. But, noooo….Whitepebble had to keep listening to his Bob Dylan CDs instead of the new Watchtower tunes. So it's his own fault.

    The new songbook, “Sing to Jehovah,” is a substantial revision of the old one. It has 135 songs, of which 35 are brand new. That means 125 songs which didn't make the cut, since the old book featured 225. And many of the survivors have been reworked in word or tune, some to the point of being unrecognizable. Familiar lyrics are assigned to new melodies. Familiar melodies are given new words. It takes a while to get your head around it. Some of those new songs are beautiful, even hauntingly so. Others, though…..well, they might be if we can ever master the tune, but with 3 songs per meeting, and 135 to choose from, not that many opportunities arise. As to the 125 songs that vanished…..look, there was nothing wrong with any of them….nobody's saying otherwise. All of them were indisputable blessings from heaven. It's just that….well….we had to prune a few.

    Of course, the instant I laid hands on the new book, I checked to see if "Dah da da da dah" was still there, a/k/a “We Must Have the Faith,” once song #144. It's still there, sort of. It's one of those which has undergone the scalpel, and only a ghost of the original refrain survives. That's too bad.

    Our son was speaking by his first birthday. “Ball” was his favorite word, as I recall, and anything circular was a “ball.” Pulling out the MasterCharge card would excite him to no end, just like it does now for Mrs. Sheepandgoats, though for a different reason. But my daughter was not yet talking by her second birthday, and we began to worry. One day, however, Mrs. Sheepandgoats called me, all thrilled, to say she was singing the song…. “dah da da da dah”…the melody is very distinctive. I didn't believe her at first, but later on…..yes, I too heard it. Sure enough, she sang before she spoke (and when she began speaking, she quickly made up for all lost time). For the next few years, whenever that song played, she'd turn to us, eyes aglow, and exclaim: “It's Dah da da da DAH!” So we're not terribly pleased that they've messed with the song, but….such is the nature of progress.

    I've even heard it said that they've “dumbed down” the songbook. That's unkind, isn't it? No, they didn't dumb it down!!! They just made it….um…uh….simpler in some places, dropping some lyrics that were absolutely untranslatable, you know, figures of speech and so forth that play well in one language but not another. Nobody, but nobody, translates material into as many languages as the Watchtower. Nobody comes close. By the way, they tell me that most of our translators in tiny backwater countries are youngsters in their twenties, since their parents tend to know the native tongue, but not any other. Another reason, I suppose, not to tax them with overcomplex vocabulary. Too, lyrics with any hint of “religiousity” have been dropped in favor of “plain speaking.” That's good, I guess, but sometimes I miss the old words. I mean, when you're singing some familiar tune, and suddenly your well remembered lines have been replaced, you find yourself grumbling “what on earth was wrong with those words?!” And there's a strange insistence on a few tunes that every note correspond to a syllable, a practice I find disconcerting.

    Ah well. Maybe it plays out according to tastes in other parts of the world. The time for considering only English speaking persons has past, as it should. What one person doesn't really care for is all the rage somewhere else. So one has to move on.

    You know, it would have helped had Manuel Noriega been able to move on. But, as it was, the onetime Panamanian dictator was stuck as a lover of classical music. He hadn't moved on to appreciate the modern stuff. So when the U.S. military wanted to flush him out of his Panama hiding spot in 1990 (much as NATO would like to do today with Muammar Gaddafi) they blasted him night and day with rock music mounted atop combat vehicles until the poor fellow couldn't take it anymore and gave himself up. And, when mall owners want chase away unruly teenagers, they simply play Mozart over the loudspeakers. Old people love it, but the kids run for their lives. If only we were more flexible when it comes to music.

    Flexibility is not the defining trait of the Sheepandgoats clan, however. Predictability is. Thus, social gatherings of the Sheepandgoats men (not necessarily the women) invariably end with a game of Scrabble. Every time. “They always do it?” asked an incredulous new daughter-in-law. Yes. Always. Plus, we have developed peculiar quirks that make us incompatible with even other Scrabble players. The house dictionary rules, for example, and so the character of the game varies depending upon whose house we are in. Playing at Pop's house is a real challenge. There, a set of 1964 World Book encyclopedias still grace the living room bookshelf, a relic from the days he vainly hoped to pound some sense into us. His dictionary is from that era, too. It wasn't easy to get him to accept even such common electronic terms as “fax,” (which go unchallenged in my house or anywhere else) and I was robustly shouted down when I tried to play “adware” over a triple word score, the 'w' resting upon a double letter square.

    *************************

    Read ‘Tom Irregardless and Me.’    30% free preview

    Starting with Prince, a fierce and frolicking defense of Jehovah’s Witnesses. A riotous romp through their way of life. “We have become a theatrical spectacle in the world, and to angels and to men,” the Bible verse says. That being the case, let’s give them some theater! Let’s skewer the liars who slander the Christ! Let’s pull down the house on the axis lords! Let the seed-pickers unite!

     

  • Can You Shoot Him? I’ll Take Responsibility.

    He droned on and on and on and on. Maybe he would never stop! But when at last he did, as he stepped off the podium, the Town Clerk whispered to the Chief of Police: “Can you shoot him? I’ll take responsibility.” Nobody was supposed to have heard. Only the Police Chief, who would, presumably, chuckle at the funny joke. But alas! – TV news was there, with one of those super-sensitive high powered mikes so that, if your stomach rumbles, it sounds like Mt Vesuvius. They picked up the throw-away remark, you can be sure, and made sure everyone knew about it. Now everyone is outraged, incensed, demanding resignations, and so forth.

    Of course, the clerk promptly apologized. “It was a very poor choice of words, and certainly a mistake that I will learn from,” she said. One wonders what the proper choice of words would have been. Still, she did say, even in the offending comment itself, that she would take responsibility. In our days of political correctness, the very angels weep for joy when someone “takes responsibility” for their outlandish conduct. It’s that first vital step toward rehabilitation, a step that virtually assures the rest will be a slam-dunk. Nonetheless, the droner himself wants her fired, not so much for the remark itself, but for subsequent ones. Isn’t that why we don’t have anyone anywhere anymore who knows anything? At their first blunder, it’s “off with their head!”
     
    Now, what to make over this? It does seem that a town clerk, who is a professional, after all, should be able to sit through a boring talk. Heaven knows I’ve learned to do it. But I won’t be too critical of her. If they ever aim a mike at me, sitting there in the Kingdom Hall as some….um…less than stellar speaker weaves his spell over his audience, broadcasting my remarks intended only for the lovely Mrs. Sheepandgoats, I could be in big trouble. I mean, a lot of talks at the Hall are pretty good, but not all. Sometimes, you have to say to yourself (repeatedly) “well…..I know what he means.” Or maybe there is some exasperating mannerism…perhaps the speaker likes to say “irregardless,” and he says it so often that you, in time, begin to keep track, tallying them up, as if you might exchange them later for prizes, so that whatever else he says…..wait a minute….did he just give the date of Armageddon?….goes in one ear and out the other. Nonetheless, while I’ve perhaps rolled my eyes verbally, I’ve never said any speaker should be shot.
     

    I think it was Tom Oxgoad who used to say “irregardless” all the time, and it drove me nuts. But then one day Kermit Wright, gentlemanly, kind fellow that he was, related how years ago he had helped another speaker drop the offending word. After commending the brother, Kermit asked him, as a favor, to look up “irregardless” in the dictionary. “I never found it.” the speaker told me later, who subsequently took the hint and never used the word again. This story absolutely thrilled me, and I marched straight up to Oxgoad and asked that he look up “irregardless” in the dictionary. But….sigh….thirty years later….he did find it. True, the dictionary qualified the word, observing it was “irregular,” but that was a point far too subtle for our boy, who proceeded to increase use of the word tenfold. But, again, I never said he should be shot.

     
    However, once more, we must back up. It’s all very fine to poke fun at the speakers… frankly, ribbing one another about talks is a cottage industry among JWs…..”Brother, as I listened to your talk, I reflected on the wisdom of Jehovah’s organization in cutting public talks from 45 minutes to 30”…. but the fact remains that most of Jehovah’s Witnesses are comfortable with public speaking on, at least, some level. It’s a point worth noting, since fear of public speaking ranks among the chief personal terrors of the Western world, if not all humankind. But Witness speaking competence is due to the Theocratic Ministry School, a public speaking program held weekly at the Kingdom Hall, open to all congregation members or interested persons.

    Over the years, I’ve seen many persons, who all but fainted upon giving their first talk, evolve into fine public speakers, so that, assemble them all together, and one would be hard pressed to believe they’re not paid professionals. But they’re not; none of Jehovah’s Witnesses at any level are paid for any service. Bereaved? A funeral talk is provided without charge. Same with a wedding talk. Over the weekend, Tom Whitepebble told me of some hospital which floated before various religious communities the notion of having a liaison staff from each church to coordinate between hospital and respective congregation members. What would such an arrangement cost? Prominent bodies listed their salary requirements; the JW representative said, not only would they not charge for such an arrangement, but that, for the most part, it was already in place.
     
    Look, it’s all very nice to be paid, one might think, freeing oneself to do more of whatever work without distraction, but one must not forget that if a minister is to be paid, someone has to pay him. And that someone will be congregation members. Thus who isn’t familiar with the spectacle of church members being shaken down, sometimes quite aggressively, to pay the various salaries of church hierarchy ? “Jesus didn’t begrudge cheerful giving,” a former church member relates the priest admonishing him years ago. “Yeah, Jesus didn’t drive around in a Cadillac either,” the surly fellow replied. Maybe that’s why Victor Blackwell, in his book “Oer the Ramparts They Watched,” continually makes reference to the “mercenary” ministers of Christendom, in contrast to those he regards as true Christian ministers.
     

    But haven’t we strayed from public speaking? Yes, we have.
     

    Many years ago I read in the newspaper of a public speaking organization called Toastmasters. “That sounds like the Theocratic Ministry School,” I thought. Years after that, I worked with a fellow who recruited members for his Toastmaster chapter with all the zeal of a Jehovah’s Witness. I went to a meeting, and in fact even signed up for a time…lemme tell you, this guy was persistent, and he had joined, he said, in order to overcome his shyness. I respected that, and besides, at the time I was somewhat out of the loop theocratically….not way, way out there, mind you, just a little astray from the inside track, so that I don’t know if I would join today, if only for lack of time, but I did then. I’ve never heard of any other Witness belonging to Toastmasters, nor any Toastmaster being a Witness; maybe Mrs. Sheepandgoats and I are the only ones. The meetings I attended were remarkably similar to the Theocratic Ministry School, with only superficial differences. I believe many persons made career advancement (which was a chief goal) via Toastmasters. The general manager of a local rock and roll party band…if they show up, you know the entertainment will be well-cared for… was among them. Mrs Sheepandgoats and I eventually veered off, however, much to the dismay, I think, of the one who had recruited us in the first place. Did he not regard us as Toastmaster apostates?
     

    But how to wrap up this post, which isn’t really going anywhere, is it? And yet we must stick with the public speaking theme. Ah…I know. Now that Tom Pearlsandswine is gone, I can relate this story:
     
    As a young single fellow, Pearlsandswine loved to speak and would volunteer whenever….School, Service Meeting, demonstrations, you name it. He even liked to lecture impromptu, something for which no arrangement really exists. In time, a sister caught his eye, and he proposed. “I will marry you,” the girl replied, “on one condition. I have with me a little black box, and you must promise you will never look inside it. Everyone needs privacy, even in a marriage, and you have to respect my request.” Tom thought this stipulation not too onerous, and so the two were married.
     

    Years went by. Pearlsandswine applied himself to his ministry, became more and more active in the congregation. In time, he began to give public talks, lots of them. We heard him all the time. If some speaker took ill or was late, Pearlsandswine would be right there with a manuscript ready to go. I swear I think he’d purposefully give the fellow wrong directions, hoping to speak in his stead. During all this time, he never looked into the little black box.
     

    A dozen more years. Not only did Tom speak at the local Kingdom Hall, but he somehow got himself on the frequent visiting list for other congregations. He was a constant public speaker. And throughout this time, he never looked into the little black box.
     

    A decade more years elapsed. Amazingly, you’d even see him on Circuit Assembly programs sometimes. He spoke constantly, much to our chagrin. If he went on vacation, he’d bill himself as a hotshot speaker from afar, a Bethel speaker almost, and manage to speak before that unsuspecting congregation. And again, he never looked into the little black box.
     

    But one day his wife was out shopping and he became curious. Just what was in that box, anyway? He opened it. Inside he found four eggs and six thousand dollars. When the wife returned home, Tom’s conscience got the better of him, and he fessed up. But time had mellowed her; she did not make the fuss over it that he had feared she might.

    Eventually, Tom asked the woman: “why did you have four eggs in your little black box?”

    “But why did you also have six thousand dollars in your little black box,” he asked later. “Well,” his wife replied, “that’s all the money I’ve made over the years selling eggs!”
     

    Thousands of talks! Every one of them a dog! The poor long-suffering woman! And if only I’d had her same clever idea. I’d be retired today.

  • Tomatoes, Grapes, and the Congregation Book Study

    When they needed more parking years ago at the Kodak facilities, there was no alternative but to blacktop surrounding blocks. Of course, people lived there, so Kodak bought them out one by one and demolished the homes. Here and there, though, some stalwart would dig in and stay put, so the spacious parking lots wrap around a few odd houses….houses fronting the street but the other three sides abutting fence and blacktop.

    Torre didn’t approve.

    “These people are so stubborn,” he decreed to the rest of the car group. “Kodak needs that parking and offered good money.” And upon further reflection: “I’m stubborn, but I’m not so stubborn as these people!”

    It was the perfect set-up for his three co-passengers. “YOU, Torre? YOU? Stubborn? You?? How can you say that, Torre!? Oh, no….not YOU!”

    Torre may have been the most stubborn person ever to walk the planet. It’s a little surprising that someone so stubborn could die. It took an auto accident (in which he was a passenger) to kill him.

    Like the time he was mowing his lawn and a heart attack felled him in his tracks. They rushed him to the hospital, probed and fussed over him and brought him up to snuff. “Now remember, Torre,” they said. “You’re not a young man anymore. You take it easy. No exertions for several weeks at least.”

    The first thing he did upon returning home was finish the lawn.

    But if he was one of the most stubborn persons I’ve known, he was also one of the most hospitable. And magnanimous. The coffee pot was always on the stove. “Let it stay a little longer, Jo,” he’d say to his wife. “Let it get hot.” “Torre, it’s boiling! It’s not going to get any hotter!” she’d reply. Maybe that’s why the Congregation book study conducted in his home is the one I most enjoyed, and through the years I’ve attended a lot. In the winter, we’d file downstairs and sit around his two ping pong tables. In the summer it would be outdoors, under the shade and fragrance of the grape trellis. Torre was from the old country….he didn’t conduct the study, you had to listen hard in order to decipher his accent….and he knew how to grow things. But if his grapes were prolific, they were nothing next to his softball-sized tomatoes. Torres didn’t really have a back yard…..it was all tomato field, and he’d spend a couple hours there every day when he got home from work.

    For the longest time, Jehovah’s Witnesses have had five meetings per week, but have only gone out on three nights. That’s because some of the meetings were back to back. And now, alas, the book study also is to be rolled into the School-Service Meeting routine, decreasing total nights out from three to two. The JW organization said something about expensive travel, ever more hectic lives, 24/7 and so forth, and consequently their desire to streamline theocratic life to the extent possible. Tom Barfendogs had a fit over this, of course, and suggested the REAL reason was that congregation members were on the verge of mutiny if they didn’t get lighter routines. But then another notion caught his fancy, equally appealing to his….ahem…increasingly paranoid personality, which held that at the Kingdom Hall comments could be monitored more closely than at informal homes, and those who stepped out of line could be promptly taken to task. ….sheesh…..He even pointed to Kingdom Ministry statements in recent years praising the Book Study…..awfully suspicious that it was being eliminated when it had recently been praised, he floated…..as if only an “our meeting sucks” confession could preface getting rid of it.

    Look, I’ll miss the book study, but combining it with other meetings is entirely in line with simplification, which the parent organization has pushed for two decades. (Wiseacre math buff Tom Wheatandweeds extrapolates that, should this system of things continue, by 2055 all JWs will take a weekly pill, which will contain all 5 meetings, field service and study)  Life gets more and more demanding, and simplification is a way to adjust. The present 3-day district conventions were once 8 days. And each day ran into the evening, they didn’t end at 4 or 5PM as they do today.

    In the old days (before Assembly Halls) preparation for an assembly would include construction of a full kitchen capable of feeding 2000 persons within an hour or two. I've seen such facilities arise from empty rooms with just a single water and electric hookup. The record is the NYC convention in the late 1950's attended by a quarter million persons, all fed on premises from makeshift facilities. There is some apocryphal story of the U. S. Army sending observers to determine how it was possible, and being told by someone that they would never be able to do it since it was motivated by love, not money or duty.

    I miss those times. They sure beat bagging your own lunch, as we do now. But they took an huge toll on the persons donating their time and energy. Life today is much more expensive, hectic, time-devouring, and often aggravating, than it was then. No reason to think that the Book Study arrangement is not just one more adjustment to simplify in the face of ever-challenging times.

    Besides, if the now-free night becomes a family study night, as is suggested, that may be a good thing. Less formal in structure, partly social, with others invited, perhaps local ministry combined in some way. Time will tell.

  • Will the Real Animals Please Stand Up

    For the 4th time in 19 years, Jehovah's Witnesses are studying the book Revelation: Its Grand Climax at Hand, a verse by verse consideration of that final Bible book: Revelation. Verse by verse is an ambitious undertaking. Some verses are explained with spot-on, blow-you-out-of-the-water clarity, and some may make you say "hmmm, could that really be?" But even the latter are presented persuasively, backed with evidence, and presented with the non-dogmatic caveat that  "It is not claimed that explanations in this publication are infallible. Like Joseph of old, we say "do not interpretations belong to God?" (Genesis 40:8) At the same time, however, we firmly believe that the explanations set forth herein harmonize with the Bible in its entirety, showing how remarkably divine prophesy has been fulfilled in the world events of our catastrophic times."  (page 9)

    A new edition has been prepared for the current study, but, so as not to render the older books obsolete [these are not college textbooks, after all, which deliberately tweak information each year, so that the old book is no good and students must shell out $150 for a new one] an insert has been prepared with all the revisions. They are insignificant, for most part, generally just the updating of dates and statistics. But a few have more substance.

    For example, in the midst of discussion of Rev 6:3-4…..

    And when he opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say: “Come!”  And another came forth, a fiery-colored horse; and to the one seated upon it there was granted to take peace away from the earth so that they should slaughter one another; and a great sword was given him.

    Paragraph 18 on page 94 states "some scientists forecast mathematically that an accidental nuclear war is virtually certain to take place within the next 25 years – let alone a planned nuclear conflagration!" The updated version, however, yanks this phrase for the blander: "some scientists speak of the possibility of an accidental nuclear war – let alone a planned nuclear conflagration!"   [!]

    The reason the publishers have done this is because Tom Barfendogs has marked on his calendar (to the day, hour, and minute) exactly when 25 years from the first book's publication expires. He is praying, hoping, pleading that there is no nuclear war within that time frame (after that is okay) so he can launch into yet another false prophet screamfest. But now he's been checked in his nefarious scheme!

    However, there is a school of thought which holds that the publishers too early quit a game of "chicken." The original may yet turn out to be true, even if there is only 6 years left. Do we not have Iran and North Korea cooking up their own bombs, unstable nations if ever there were unstable nations? Is not Isreal thinking they may yet someday teach hostile neighbor nations an atomic lesson? Has not the formerly monolithic Soviet Union more-or-less fallen apart, so that any Boy Scout troop can fill up a shopping cart with second-hand nukes?. Decidedly, the Watchtower publishers are being sissy, girliemen (per Schwartzenegger). It may yet turn out as they first said. And even if it doesn't, who gets egg on their face? The Watchtower? No! "Some scientists" said the saying. Why should Watchtower care if "some scientists" shoot themselves in the foot? "Some scientists" are always saying rash things, like how, if you 'give infinite monkeys infinite typewriters one of them will write the complete works of Shakespeare!' Or how boisterous flatulance evolved over the eons as a means to scare off predators.

    The publishers also missed an opportunity to update when commenting on Rev 6:8

    And I saw, and, look! a pale horse; and the one seated upon it had the name Death. And Hades was closely following him. And authority was given them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with a long sword and with food shortage and with deadly plague and by the wild beasts of the earth.

    Commenting on the "wild beasts of the earth" part, Watchtower lays stress on literal mean animals, like the vicious Monty Python bunny rabbit. [my example, not theirs] They also mention people who behave like animals, making a reference to Isa 11:6-9:

    And the wolf will actually reside for a while with the male lamb, and with the kid the leopard itself will lie down, and the calf and the maned young lion and the well-fed animal all together; and a mere little boy will be leader over them. And the cow and the bear themselves will feed; together their young ones will lie down. And even the lion will eat straw just like the bull. And the sucking child will certainly play upon the hole of the cobra; and upon the light aperture of a poisonous snake will a weaned child actually put his own hand. They will not do any harm or cause any ruin in all my holy mountain; because the earth will certainly be filled with the knowledge of Jehovah as the waters are covering the very sea.

    The animals in this verse likely refer to people as well as the literal critters. This is because other verses liken people to various animals, and "the earth will certainly be filled with the knowledge of Jehovah" would affect people, but probably not animals. So formerly vicious "animals," under Kingdom rule, coexist peacefully with their nicer counterparts. But in Revelation 6:8, the vicious animals are having a field day, being one of the means in which Death claims a quarter of the earth.

    Lots of people are vicious animals today. Unreasoning. Bombers, for example, ecstatic at the thought of dying, if only they can take a few dozen with them! And just today [July 17] there is an NPR report of gangs ("The Multitude") in Kenya that have beheaded 100 people. Heads turn up all over the city, sometimes on spikes. "Animals" is a perfect description! Even in the original 1988 edition, Watchtower observed that such "[animalistic] people are largely responsible for the global expansion of sex-related crimes, murder, terrorism, and bombings in the modern world." It was true then. All the more so today.

    It was a area in which the current edition could have expanded, but didn't.

     

    Tom Irregardless and Me    No Fake News But Plenty of Hogwash

  • Revelation and the Congregation Book Study

    It does seem like a raw deal.

    Here is John, the apostle John, he's summoned to heaven to see how things will turn out.

    …look! an opened door in heaven, and the first voice that I heard was as of a trumpet, speaking with me, saying: “Come on up here, and I shall show you the things that must take place.    Rev 4:1

    But no sooner does he get there and the door's slammed shut! Or so it seems. The central figure (God) holds a scroll, and the scroll, we all can see, is important. It is key, but it is also sealed securely and no one's around who can unseal it. John is bummed. And he weeps, no less. He's an emotional guy.

    And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice: “Who is worthy to open the scroll and loose its seals?” But neither in heaven nor upon earth nor underneath the earth was there a single one able to open the scroll or to look into it. And I gave way to a great deal of weeping because no one was found worthy to open the scroll or to look into it.    Rev 5:2-4

    In a sense, Jehovah's Witnesses today are like John. Eager to look into the future….how will God's purpose turn out? What will the next move be? Occasionally, even ready to jump the gun, just like the first century disciples:

    While they were listening to these things he [Jesus] spoke in addition an illustration, because he was near Jerusalem and they were imagining that the kingdom of God was going to display itself instantly.     Luke 19:11

    World conditions have deteriorated beyond what many long-time Witnesses ever thought possible. Routinely, people strap themselves to bombs or stroll into malls with guns and are delighted to die if only they can take a dozen or so with them! And people just adjust! "Oh, well….that's just the way life is," they say. It doesn't cause a spiritual searching, or, if it does, it's only for varieties in which time, effort, and resources remain strictly subservient to the more important things. And, God knows, it can't be anywhere there is any check on doing whatever we want! It is fine to have a faith, we hear, as long as we keep it in it's place. Of course, that means last place.

    Does it not call to mind Jesus' words at Matt 24:38-39?

    For as they were in those days before the flood, eating and drinking, men marrying and women being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark; and they took no note until the flood came and swept them all away, so the presence of the Son of man will be.

    So Jehovah's Witnesses do look to the future, as mentioned, and there seems no better place to look than in the book of Revelation, since that is the invitation: "Come on up here, and I shall show you the things that must take place." No, John is not smoking something, as potheads charge, but the book is presented in symbols. Not indecipherable symbols, though, and comparing Revelation with pertinent verses elsewhere in the Bible, as well as considering Christian history, allows an ever more detailed understanding of its meaning.

    The book Revelation – Its Grand Climax at Hand (1988, Watchtower) is such a verse -by -verse commentary of Revelation. It's presently being considered, for the fourth time, in the Congregation Book study, a weekly meeting of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    It is the latest of a series of Watchtower produced books on the Revelation to John. "The Finished Mystery" appeared in 1917, "Light" in 1930, "Babylon the Great has Fallen!" God's Kingdom Rules! in 1963, and "Then is Finished the Mystery of God" in 1969. And now the latest version. Is it wrong in some respects? Probably. The book acknowledges as much on page 9:

    It is not claimed that explanations in this publication are infallible. Like Joseph of old, we say "do not interpretations belong to God?" (Genesis 40:8) At the same time, however, we firmly believe that the explanations set forth herein harmonize with the Bible in its entirety, showing how remarkably divine prophesy has been fulfilled in the world events of our catastrophic times.

    Might one quibble, even argue, with this or that interpretation of a given verse? Absolutely, and I know just some persons who would do it endlessly. Yet there is a cohesiveness to the explanations offered, and a chronological order that is impressive. With each new publication released, there is a sense of zeroing in closer and closer to the target. And it avoids those asinine literal interpretations we get from fundamentalists….looking for the guy who literally has "666" emblazoned on his forehead, for example, or the former hysteria at Ronald Wilson Reagan (3 names, each with 6 letters! 666!).

    Though John starts bawling like a baby, the initial account  at Rev 5 has a happy ending. They find someone to open the scroll!

    But one of the elders says to me: “Stop weeping. Look! The Lion that is of the tribe of Judah, the root of David, has conquered so as to open the scroll and its seven seals….And he went and at once took [it] out of the right hand of the One seated on the throne.   vs 5,7

    to this accompaniment:

    You are worthy to take the scroll and open its seals, because you were slaughtered and with your blood you bought persons for God out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation, and you made them to be a kingdom and priests to our God, and they are to rule as kings over the earth.    vs 9,10

    It's not hard to recognize the recipient as the resurrected Christ. Christ is, for sure, the one qualified to reveal details of God's purpose toward heaven, earth, and mankind. Jehovah's Witnesses recognize that Christ leads the congregation, doing so through an arrangement that the Bible described as the faithful and discreet slave:

    Who really is the faithful and discreet slave whom his master appointed over his domestics, to give them their food at the proper time? Happy is that slave if his master on arriving finds him doing so. Truly I say to you, He will appoint him over all his belongings.     Matt 24:45-47

  • Pope Benedict and Maxwell Friend

    They think they've found the tomb of the apostle Paul. It's been unearthed from beneath the altar of Rome's second-largest basilica, St. Paul's Outside the Walls Basilica. It dates from 390 CE or before. Tradition has it that Paul was beheaded during 1rst century persecution of Christians.

    Hence, at the end of "Prayer Week for Christian Unity," Pope Benedict and three other churchmen, a riot of luxuriant color amidst matching surroundings, are seen peering over the tomb. Yet if Paul were there in death as he had been in life (the tomb hasn't yet been opened) he would seem out of place. His clothing would be course and drab. His hands would be used calloused and blistered.

    It's hard to think otherwise based on what the New Testament tells us of Paul's life. When he traveled, as he did on three missionary tours, he roughed it.

    Are they ministers of Christ? I reply [with regard to local "luminaries," softies, who were trying to make themselves prominent in the Corinthian congregation] like a madman, I am more outstandingly one: in labors more plentifully, in prisons more plentifully, in blows to an excess, in near-deaths often. By Jews I five times received forty strokes less one, three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I experienced shipwreck, a night and a day I have spent in the deep; in journeys often, in dangers from rivers, in dangers from highwaymen, in dangers from [my own] race, in dangers from the nations, in dangers in the city, in dangers in the wilderness, in dangers at sea, in dangers among false brothers, in labor and toil, in sleepless nights often, in hunger and thirst, in abstinence from food many times, in cold and nakedness.     2 Corinthians 11:23-27

    While on the road, he worked to support himself.

    After these things he departed from Athens and came to Corinth. And he found a certain Jew named Aquila, a native of Pontus who had recently come from Italy, and Priscilla his wife, because of the fact that Claudius had ordered all the Jews to depart from Rome. So he went to them and on account of being of the same trade he stayed at their home, and they worked, for they were tentmakers by trade. However, he would give a talk in the synagogue every sabbath and would persuade Jews and Greeks.     Acts 18:1-4

    Though, as a full time minister, he might reasonably have lived off his ministry, he did not do so, so as not to abuse his authority.

    If we have sown spiritual things to you, is it something great if we shall reap things for the flesh from you? If other men partake of this authority over you, do we not much more so? Nevertheless, we have not made use of this authority, but we are bearing all things, in order that we might not offer any hindrance to the good news about the Christ. Do you not know that the men performing sacred duties eat the things of the temple, and those constantly attending at the altar have a portion for themselves with the altar? In this way, too, the Lord ordained for those proclaiming the good news to live by means of the good news.

    But I have not made use of a single one of these [provisions]. Indeed, I have not written these things that it should become so in my case, for it would be finer for me to die than—no man is going to make my reason for boasting void! If, now, I am declaring the good news, it is no reason for me to boast, for necessity is laid upon me. Really, woe is me if I did not declare the good news! If I perform this willingly, I have a reward; but if I do it against my will, all the same I have a stewardship entrusted to me. What, then, is my reward? That while declaring the good news I may furnish the good news without cost, to the end that I may not abuse my authority in the good news.

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    As a Ministerial Servant, I was tending to some duties just before the meeting when I heard an unmistakable voice followed by a greeting that spelled doom:

    "Brother Friend! What a surprise! What brings you here?" It was Maxwell Friend, from the Governing Body! And what did bring him here, far from his home turf? It turns out he was chums with an elderly couple from the sister congregation, and he was in town to visit. Friend's voice was very distinctive, easily recognized from recorded dramas.

    Of course, normally this greeting would not spell doom at all. I would be happy to meet him. But I had a teaching part on the evening's program, a Q & A session, and I hadn't really prepared to the extent I would have liked. I wasn't unprepared, you understand, just not prepared enough to be brimming with confidence. "Great," I thought, "just great! Here I'm going to show myself an inept ass before one of the Governing Body!"

    But I'd done these parts before, and this one went fine. Brother Friend sat in the audience just like anyone else and raised his hand to comment just like anyone else. I called on him. He made some brief remark just like anyone else.

    Among Jehovah's Witnesses there is no distinctive garb nor any segregation for those who take the lead. Understand that, as a member of the Governing Body, Brother Friend would correspond rank-wise with the Pope's inner circle of Cardinals. [yes, yes, I know, we don't really think of "ranks," we think of ones serving, but you get my drift] Yet here he was indistinguishable among brothers of the congregation, obediently answering my Q & A questions!

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    Maxwell Friend came from Germany and he was a Holocaust survivor. And since this post began with an observation of Pope Benedict, it is irresistible to contrast the two. Benedict, as a youngster, was a member of the Hitler youth and later served in the German military. Of course, I write this not to denigrate Benedict, but rather to elevate Friend. Benedict was a kid at the time, and without a strong support system [which, alas, the Church was not], he could hardly have been expected to refuse Nazi cooperation. Nobody says he embraced it wholeheartedly. I'm sure he did not. He later deserted from the military, to his considerable credit.

    Nonetheless, we sure have some irony. If visitors from another planet were to play "match game," surely they would connect the guy who cooperated with that despicable regime, albeit as a vulnerable youth under duress, with the future governing body member of a derided, fringe nutcake religion, while the fellow who refused any fellowship with those felons would certainly be the one later to lead the world's largest and most prominent church denomination.

    But they'd be wrong.

    And in this age of "victimization," it's only a matter of time till cooperation with the Nazis is seen as a growing, learning experience, whereas outright refusal is just pigheaded and impractical, the expected course of a closed-minded religious nut…..in the odd tradition we have today of converting a plus into a minus and vice versa.

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    “All those who suffered persecution because of their religious or political beliefs and who were willing to accept death rather than submit deserve our great respect, such respect as is hard to express in words. Jehovah’s Witnesses were the only religion that completely refused to accede to the demands of the Hitler regime: They did not raise their hand to give the Hitler salute. They refused to swear allegiance to ‘Führer and State,’ just as they refused to perform military and labor service. And their children did not join the Hitler Youth Movement.” Peter Straub, president of the State Parliament of Baden-Württemberg – from a speech made on the 58th anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz concentration camp.

     

    [Edit  11/3/11   A brother emailed me to say that, although Max Friend had been in Bethel forever and ever, and had done many things, he was never on the governing body.  Naw….can't be, I said. But then I checked and….sure enough, it was true. Where did I ever get this idea in my head? Gasp…..does this mean I could also be wrong on other things?]

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    Tom Irregardless and Me              No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash

  • New Two Tier Meeting Prep Service Announced

    There's no sense in donning sackcloth of false modesty. Fact is that the Whitepebble Religious Institute is revolutionizing the world of religious study preparation, just like Apple revolutionizing the field of anything they touch with cool gadgets.

    The Institute launched two exciting new services recently, and held a news conference to maximize momentum. To the oohs and aahs of thrilled reporters, spokesman Tom Wheatandweeds demonstrated a new two-tier underlining service. The news media was spellbound. Why had no one thought of such a convenience before?

    Far and away the best method to prepare and to let others know you have prepared your religious instruction is to underline the material. The lazy students read but do not underline, which accomplishes the first goal but not the second. The really lazy students do neither. These are the students who gripe how boring this or that meeting is, when they themselves are the hangup. The same principle of preparation applies to any learning setting – college, for example.

    Nevertheless, it is not for the Institute to lecture or moralize, but only to capitalize on trends. So for a flat yearly fee, a subscriber will receive all study materials already underlined.

    Of course, this is not new. Other such services exist. But the brilliance of the Whitepebble method lies in the realization that, whereas people are always looking over your shoulder to see if you’ve prepared or not, they’re not looking too closely! Therefore, underlined study material is satisfactory; there is no need for the lines to be in the correct places! Thus, the subscriber choosing this service recognizes significant cost savings, since any donkey at the Institute can prepare these “close-enough” lessons, and do so while he or she is working on other projects! (multi-tasking)

    They’re always innovating, those Whitepebble people!

    The meetings of Jehovah’s Witnesses are all educational in nature. They thus differ significantly from most church services, which may feature
    (depending on the specific church) new-age pep talks, politics, hooting and stomping, raising money, concerts, and tearjerker (or hellfire) preaching. The Watchtower study, for example, consists of a one-hour Q&A session. Material prepared in advance and available to all (in the Watchtower magazine) revolves around such themes as practical application of Bible principles, family life, the ministry, prophetic patterns, maintaining faith, Christian morality, theocratic history, and the like. The conductor, ideally, does not make speeches of his own, but serves only to moderate comments and keeps the lesson on track. You glean insights from the study material and from each other’s comments. It is spiritual education which you can prepare for, and it helps one to keep heart and mind straight in an ever sickening world.

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    Tom Irregardless and Me       No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash

  • A Trial, an Issue, an Outcome

    If rotten things happen to you, is it payback from God? Does He see what no one else does, and kick you accordingly?

    And…. mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy.   Eccles 7:7 (NW)

    Can you think of any examples?

    These were among the questions discussed in last week’s Watchtower study, which has to be the most spiritual forum going. You get the whole congregation considering material in Q & A format. Whoever wants to comment can….you can do it yourself if you like. And you get insights from members of your spiritual family – persons from every conceivable background.  Some have been around forever. Some are brand new. All have unique perspectives.

    Job is the wise one acting crazy. And who can blame him? As the Book of Job’s opening chapters explain, Job takes a hit that few people have ever taken. He suffers personal and financial ruin. His good health morphs into the worst of disease, and he exiles himself from the city so as to die. But he doesn’t die. He just suffers in agony. Physical agony….and mental agony, as he reflects on how far he has fallen and what did he do to deserve his fate? And emotional agony, seeing that his former chums all turn against him.

    Job has three pals that come calling. Their goal is to comfort, but they more closely act as hit men. They conclude in a hurry that Job brought upon himself all his own trouble.

    Says Eliphaz: Think [earnestly], I beg of you: who, being innocent, ever perished? Or where were those upright and in right standing with God cut off? As I myself have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble and mischief reap the same.  Job 4:7-8  [all quotations from the book of Job, Amplified Bible version]

    God sees through Job’s veneer of goodness, they point out. If he were not so morally bankrupt, God might leave him be. Even now, were Job to clean up his act, God would heal him.

    Then, if you are pure and upright, surely He will bestir Himself for you and make your righteous dwelling prosperous again,  says Bildad   Job 8:6

    But Job is innocent. He’s always been a decent person. His goodness is genuine. He resist his buddies’ counsel.

    And…..you know how guys can get when you put down their pet ideas? …His chums get madder and madder that Job should defend himself, and not bow to their opinion.

    Eliphaz: What do you know that we know not? What do you understand that is not equally clear to us? Among us are both the gray-haired and the aged, older than your father by far. Are God's consolations [as we have interpreted them to you] too trivial for you? Is there any secret thing (any bosom sin) which you have not given up? [Or] were we too gentle [in our first speech] toward you to be effective?   15:9-12

    And Zophar: Why are we counted as beasts [as if we had no sense]? Why are we unclean in your sight?    18:3

    Are they moved by Job’s torment?

    Job: Have pity on me! Have pity on me, O you my friends, for the hand of God has touched me! Why do you, as if you were God, pursue and persecute me? [Acting like wild beasts] why are you not satisfied with my flesh?  19:21-22

    Toward the visit’s end, they’re practically throwing knives. Zophar, positively reveling in Job’s disaster, lets fly with these words:

    Do you not know from of old, since the time that man was placed on the earth, That the triumphing of the wicked is short, and the joy of the godless and defiled is but for a moment?…..God will cast the fierceness of His wrath upon him … He will flee from the iron weapon, but the bow of bronze shall strike him through. The arrow] is drawn forth and it comes out after passing through his body; yes, the glittering point comes out of his gall. Terrors march in upon him; Every misfortune is laid up for his treasures. A fire not blown by man shall devour him…The heavens shall reveal his iniquity, and the earth shall rise up against him. …This is the wicked man's portion from God, and the heritage appointed to him by God.   Job 20:4-29

    So…can you see why Job “acts crazy?” He becomes convinced that God is the source of his torment.

    Behold, I cry out, Violence! but I am not heard; I cry aloud for help, but there is no justice. He has walled up my way so that I cannot pass, and He has set darkness upon my paths. He has stripped me of my glory and taken the crown from my head. He has broken me down on every side, and I am gone; my hope has He pulled up like a tree. He has also kindled His wrath against me, and He counts me as one of His adversaries.    Job 19:7-11

    God is a bully and he’s hiding behind…..well…his Godship. If Job could confront him face to face, he’d argue his case. He’s make God back down, and pick on someone his own size.   

    Oh, that I knew where I might find Him, that I might come even to His seat! I would lay my cause before Him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would learn what He would answer me, and understand what He would say to me. Would He plead against me with His great power? No, He would give heed to me. There the righteous [one who is upright and in right standing with God] could reason with Him; so I should be acquitted by my Judge forever.   23:3-7

    Then, when it seems that Job must be at his breaking point, if not beyond, he gets some counsel from a much younger man, counsel which completely restores his balance.  Counsel from Elihu, who’s been listening for a long time but hasn’t yet uttered a word.

    He actually listens before he shoots his mouth off!

    And Job proves to be like a compass which, when you shake it violently, you get that needle spinning crazily. But stop shaking, and the needle aligns the same way it was originally. Such is the case with a loyal person.

    Barely bothering to address Job’s fathead comforters, Elihu directs his words to Job. Even while seeking to readjust the man, he acknowledges Job’s decency. Do you think that adds weight to what he says?

    Elihu: Give heed, O Job, listen to me; hold your peace, and I will speak. If you have anything to say, answer me; speak, for I desire to justify you. If [you do] not [have anything to say], listen to me; hold your peace, and I will teach you wisdom.  Job 33:31-33

    Elihu spoke further [to Job] and said, Do you think this is your right, or are you saying, My righteousness is more than God's, That you ask, What advantage have you? How am I profited more than if I had sinned?…Look to the heavens and see; and behold the skies which are higher than you.    Job 35:2-5

    [Job, you’re out of your depth. You’re speaking of things you don’t understand.] 

    Elihu: But now because God has not [speedily] punished in His anger and seems to be unaware of the wrong and oppression [of which a person is guilty], Job uselessly opens his mouth and multiplies words without knowledge [drawing the worthless conclusion that the righteous have no more advantage than the wicked].   34:15-16

    Bear with me and wait a little longer, and I will show you, for I have something still to say on God's behalf. ….Behold, God exalts and does loftily in His power; who is a ruler or a teacher like Him? Who has appointed God His way? Or who can say, You have done unrighteousness? ….Behold, God is great, and we know Him not! The number of His years is unsearchable For He draws up the drops of water, which distil as rain from His vapor, Which the skies pour down and drop abundantly upon [the multitudes of ] mankind. Not only that, but can anyone understand the spreadings of the clouds or the thunderings of His pavilion?  Job  36

    Hear this, O Job; stand still and consider the wondrous works of God. Do you know how God lays His command upon them and causes the lightning of His [storm] cloud to shine? Do you know how the clouds are balanced [and poised in the heavens], the wonderful works of Him Who is perfect in knowledge? [Or] why your garments are hot when He quiets the earth [in sultry summer] with the [oppressive] south wind? Can you along with Him spread out the sky, [which is] strong as a molten mirror? Tell us [Job] with what words of man we may address such a Being; we cannot state our case because we are in the dark [in the presence of the unsearchable God].  Job 37:14-19

    This counsel appears to have instantly readjusted Job. Such is the power of wise words from a person of empathy, even if those words amount to: we don’t really know what God is up to. But He’s not unjust. Is it really our place to accuse him? Wait on him, Job, if you can. It will turn out.

    God Himself speaks in the remaining chapters of the book! Job’s readjustment is complete! Issues have been at play, it turns out, that Job was completely unaware of. Backing up a bit to see those issues, we read:

    And the Lord said to Satan, Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who [reverently] fears God and abstains from and shuns all evil [because it is wrong]? And still he holds fast his integrity, although you moved Me against him to destroy him without cause. Then Satan answered the Lord, Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has will he give for his life. But put forth Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse and renounce You to Your face.   Job 2:3-5

    As we have seen, Job wavers, bends, accuses, and complains. But he keeps integrity throughout. And he snaps back instantly upon hearing Elihu’s counsel.

    The final years of Job go well:

    And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; for he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He had also seven sons and three daughters….And in all the land there were no women so fair as the daughters of Job, and their father gave them inheritance among their brothers. After this, Job lived 140 years, and saw his sons and his sons' sons, even to four generations. So Job died, an old man and full of days.    Job 42:12-17

    …………………………..

    You have heard of the endurance of Job, and you have seen the Lord's [purpose and how He richly blessed him in the] end, inasmuch as the Lord is full of pity and compassion and tenderness and mercy.    James 5:11

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    Tom Irregardless and Me             No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash

  • At the Judge First – Ask Questions Later conference

    Since the Whitepebble Research Institute derives a full 40% of its income from religious commissions, it behooves them to keep abreast of all recent developments in the field. Venues in which one may encounter rising talents, new ideas, and the latest research papers are therefore most desirable. One such avenue is the Judge First – Ask Questions Later religious conference, held annually in diverse locations. It is, for sure, a must-attend event.

    True, Tom Sheepandgoats, the Whitepebble representative has not attended for years, ever since they awarded top prize to that schlocky rhyme about walking with Jesus, in which two footsteps are seen in the sand, that of the life-traveler and Jesus. But in some places there is just one set of footprints, and so the life-traveler accuses Jesus of leaving him….always during tough periods of his life…..but Jesus answers that, no, I did not abandon you…..during those times I carried you.

    Not a dry eye or nose could be seen among the blubbering judges, but Whitepebble vowed in disgust not to return, since it seemed to him that the judges were turning the power of the gospel into so much sentimental slop.

    This year, however, cash prizes were offered for original papers….always a sufficient motivation for Whitepebble to reexamine his principles. Moreover, with, not one, but two worthy entries….the Gospel of Howard, and Acts of the Pioneers……chances of snagging some of that dough seemed good.

    This year’s conference was held at Martha’s Vineyard,IMG_0322
     at the      Campground tabernacle,     between sessions of other events. IMG_0309
    Delegates arrived in style from     far and wide. Unfortunately, the attached photograph turned out to be not conference delegates, as was initially reported, but merely local residents, who were nonetheless thrilled to host such a prestigious event in their hometown or ought to have been. IMG_0327Martha, at left, herself met us all at the gate to lay down the law:Aunt bea no carousing, no womanizing, no dancing, no card playing, no coveting, no bearing false witness. No using informal pronouns….thees and thous will do nicely.

    It was a truly thrilling event. Competition for top prize in pure theology was intense. In the end, the winner ventured outside the traditional realm of theology, into chemistry, to prove a point that theology alone has never been able to answer definitively. By ingenious reasoning, it was proved that hell is not endothermic, as had long been supposed, but exothermic……that is, it absorbs heat over time, rather than shedding it. Whitepebble Institute's two entries both received honorable mention, so Whitepebble wasn’t too sore. Moreover, he was so impressed with the new research on hell that he abandoned his characteristic frugality and was heard to vow…..we have to get that kid on our staff…I don’t care what it costs, as long as it’s not too much!

     

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    Tom Irregardless and Me           No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash