Sheep and Goats

Category: Entertainment

  • Rebecca Did Recover

    News update: Rebecca did recover. She was seen on other shows. And the actress that portrayed her mama really was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

    This, of course, is Rebecca from The Practice, the lawyer TV show of last decade. She got caught in a bomb blast, you’ll recall, and ended up in the hospital, where doctors insisted she needed a blood transfusion. Only she wasn’t about to have one, because she was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, who take seriously the Bible command to abstain from blood.  The Mama character materialized to give her moral support. But I had imagined that this was the last episode of the season, after which Rebecca landed another role in some other TV show, so that we were left in suspense as to whether or not she would recover. It turns out that she did.

    Well, that’s indeed good news, Tom Sheepandgoats, but how do we know your update is accurate? Why didn’t you give us the straight scoop to begin with? Do you realize how close you are to being accused of being a false prophet?

    Hard hitting, but fair questions.  Readers deserve an honest answer, not the kind of hogwash they usual….readers deserve an honest answer.

    My source is Keith, who used to watch The Practice every week; it was one of his favorite shows. It was one of mine too, but I still rarely saw it. So I would give it a 92% probability that the Rebecca newsflash is accurate. The remaining 8% is to cover the possibility that my source got confused by summer reruns. It can happen to the best of us.

    As for the Mama aspect of the story, the accuracy probability here is lower, perhaps 80%. My excellent source notwithstanding, this story smells a bit of JW folklore. Until I receive corroborating evidence, I put it in the same category as the John Denver story, (unfavorable to us),  the John Wayne story (favorable to us), and the Johnny Carson story (very favorable to us, and payback to John Denver).

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    Tom Irregardless and Me     No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash

  • Alanis Morrisette and New York Rock and Roll

    Although the staff of the Sheepngoats IntoWishen Research Institute is mainly comprised of eminent theologians, such as Tom Weedsandwheat, best known for his groundbreaking, if plagiarized, research on the exothermic nature of hell, we do have a few slackers. Sheepngoats doesn’t have the heart to sack them as he should, yet you cannot get them to write about God to save your life. So we have learned to value them for what they are able to contribute, which usually means articles about contemporary music. Mack Slickbottom is an example. Back in the 70’s, you may recall, Mack was lead singer of the group Mack Truck and the Bulldozers, so he really knows his stuff when it comes to music:

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    When Alanis Morisette came to town, she didn’t give an interview to the Democrat and Chronicle music critic. It just wasn't what she did, explained her agent.

    It was a mistake. The critic savaged both her and her concert. One suspects that the venom was aimed not so much at Alanis the musician as Alanis the upstart snot who dared snub the Music Critic!

    Now, Ms Morisette is not the most potent musical force of our time. Her clunky lyrics and utter disregard for syllable accents positively invites ridicule. Nonetheless, she has endured. Her arrangements are gritty, grabbing and original. And how many have played the character she got to play in her first movie role? Even some of her awkwardness must be overlooked, since she achieve stardom at …what…19, or so?…. What were you doing at age 19?

    So I wasn’t happy to see her savaged by our critic. She deserved better.

    But it’s not Alanis I’m writing about. It’s the New York Rock and Roll Ensemble! They were a favorite second tier group of mine, but nobody’s ever heard of them. I’ve always wondered why. They played a concert at SUNY Potsdam, right there on the back foyer of Merritt Hall. I’m still impressed. The band members were all Juliard trained and their music was a mix of rock and classical. Even mid-song they might switch from, say, electric guitar to oboe or cello. They released two albums: New York Rock & Roll Ensemble and Faithful Friends featuring this unique and pleasing blend of music.

    Their third album, Reflections (1969) was a collaboration with Greek classical composer Manos Hadjidakis. The latter wrote the music, the NYR&RE wrote the lyrics and performed. The album tanked in the States, but was popular in Europe. It was re-released in 2005 by the group Raining Pleasure….a hot band in Greece, they tell me, though I’ve not heard of them. (please comment, anyone who can update)

    I bought some of their (NYR&RE) records and expected them to catch on, but they never did. Rolling Stone reviewed their album Faithful Friends and savaged it just like our critic savaged Alanis. Did they too, snub the critic? Thankfully, that interview can’t be found via Google anymore.

    Maybe it’s me. Maybe they really did stink to high heaven, but being young, I didn’t recognize it. But I replay their music, which I’ve since transferred to tape and then again to CD. No, I still enjoy it a lot. It is still unique.

    It must be the name: New York Rock and Roll Ensemble. It’s unwieldy, as if Alanis named them. Had they named themselves an obscenity or some intimate body part, no doubt they’d be in the stratosphere today.

    ………………………………..

    Oh, and my very own Alanis Morisette song, as returned by my second link—to the Morissette lyrics generator:

    "I Think"

    I Think nerds are really a huge problem
    I Think nincompoops are too much on my mind
    I Think nutcakes have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
    But what can you do?

    Like a red rain, beating down on me
    Like a Bob Dylan line, which won't let go of my brain
    Like Balaam's ass, it is in my head
    Blame it on the neurotics
    Blame it on the neurotics
    Blame it on the neurotics

    I Think noises are gonna drive us all crazy
    And nonmentionables make me feel like a child
    I Think nastigrams will eventually be the downfall of civilization
    But what can you do? I said what can you do?

    Like a red rain, beating down on me
    Like a Bob Dylan line, which won't let go of my brain
    Like Balaam's ass, it is in my head
    Blame it on the neurotics

    Blame it on the neurotics
    Blame it on the neurotics

    Like a red rain, beating down on me
    Like Balaam's smile, cruel and cold
    Like a jackass, it is in my head
    Blame it on the neurotics
    Blame it on the neurotics
    Blame it on the neurotics

    Warning: Unless you are a trained blogger, do not attempt to use the Alanis lyric generator at home! You will notice for my result that “ass” clearly refers to a donkey. It may not do that for you! The Institute will not be held liable for any earthy returns on your part!

    [this site was submitted with the comment of 1/18/07:  http://myplanetb612.blogspot.com/  ]

  • Prophesy and Reality TV

    Pity the poor TV producer of just a few years back. Put yourself in his place.

    Imagine that you want to produce a TV show. First, you have to hire some actors. They’re all prima donnas and most suffer from high self-esteem. They’ll cost you an arm and a leg. Not to mention aggravation. As soon as you turn your back, they go on talk shows to promote their nutty religious views, or they say mean things about psychiatrists, whom we all know are the indispensable good guys in white hats today.

    Then you must build a city. Or clear traffic in a real city, so as to stage your show. People get mad when they’re late for work because they had to detour because you closed their city because you wanted to film your TV show. They send you hate mail. But some of them don’t get mad. They come and appear in your show as extras……the folks just passing by, street traffic. But you must pay them as well, otherwise they gawk at the camera and wave ‘hi’ to Mom.

    Of course, you can’t even get this far unless you have a story to film. You must hire writers. They aren’t cheap either. You will pay substantially for them to write scripts about psychos, perverts, misfits, oddballs, exhibitionists and dysfunctional people, which is all anyone wants to watch today.

    These seemingly insurmountable problems would no doubt have derailed the entire television industry, but for a staggering discovery.

    The audience of “30-somethings weaned on The Real World and Cops….doesn’t judge reality programs any differently than scripted drama.” (Rosenbaum)

    To the TV producer, this statement is as profound as is the pledge of allegiance to the patriot or the Lord’s prayer to the devout person. It is the television equivalent of this verse:

    You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.   John 8:32

    The elusive Rosenbaum, who is on the staff of the Carriertom Into-Wishen Research Institute, or will be as soon as we can track him down, single-handedly saved television!

    Why write shows about psychos, perverts, misfits, oddballs, exhibitionists and dysfunctional people when you can just as easily, and for a fraction of the cost, go out and film real psychos, perverts, misfits, oddballs, exhibitionists and dysfunctional people! They don’t mind at all! They crave the attention. And the rest of us, who are mere wannabe psychos, perverts, misfits, oddballs, exhibitionists and dysfunctional people, love to watch their antics. We can’t get enough of it. Thus, the astounding success of reality TV!

    ………………………………..

    Released 30 years ago, the movie Network was billed as outrageous satire. But each year brings it closer to dead-on reality.

    The film begins with the anchorman for a floundering 4th network announcing the cancellation of the evening news due to poor ratings. Since he’s getting on in years and has no real prospects, he tells his viewers that he will blow his brains out on his final broadcast, and encourages them to watch.

    Friends rally, concerned about his mental health. But the ratings inch up.

    He persuades his network to let him broadcast one last time, so he can apologize for his bizarre behavior under stress, so he won’t be remembered as a loony. Alas, he really has gone nuts, and on his supposed-to-be final night he launches into an endless rant on how all life is B.S!

    Ratings shoot through the stratosphere!

    Some ambitious executives run the network. They rebuild the network around their new “mad prophet of the airwaves!” They surround him with likeminded nutcakes, who spin off into their own programs. They merge the news division with the entertainment division. (Sound familiar?) And when our hero’s ratings start to slip, they….well….I really shouldn’t give that away. But read it here if you must know.

    Of course, rated R (mostly for language, which is substantial, the kind of stuff you hear at work or school), how can the film be a Sheepandgoats recommendation? It cannot be. But it is prophetic.

    In 2000 the United States Library of Congress deemed the film "culturally significant" and selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry. The movie depicted the concept of reality television a generation before it actually came into being.

    ……………………………………

    Can’t understand this sayin going round says
    Put more on with lessons and less on for morons   –       D Loftus

  • The Practice Gets it Right on Blood Transfusion

    When TV writes Jehovah’s Witnesses into the plot, look out! We get clobbered. It not malicious, usually. They just don’t have a clue as to what we’re about. Nor are the hatchet jobs confined  to us. Religious folk never fare well on TV. There’s just not that many TV writers with religious backgrounds out there and they can’t picture the other side. Not that they toss and turn at night worrying about it. It’s much easier to use caricatures and stereotypes.

    So I was blown away when an episode of The Practice episode featured Jehovah’s Witnesses and they got it right, and even, amazingly, treated us with dignity.

    Do you remember Rebecca the receptionist? Well, it turns out she is one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, though nobody knew it until she got caught in a bomb blast. And who would plant a bomb in the Practice’s office? This creepy psycho fellow, wasn’t he a former client? who’s been up to no good the past few episodes.

    Anyway, they rush Rebecca to the hospital, where doctors decide only a blood transfusion will save her! But, lo and behold, Mama, a hitherto unknown character, shows up and declares that daughter is a Jehovah’s Witness who’s very serious about her faith. She has affidavits from the congregation to back her up. Head lawyer Bobby will have none of it. Rebecca needs blood, doctors say, and Bobby’s going to see that she gets it!

    And so the stage is set for a drama that, incredibly, gets it right….mostly. We don’t come across as right-to-die extremists, nor death-wish martyrs. We aren’t doctor wannabes, telling medical personnel how to do their job. Our blood stand is Bible-based. Someone in the writing staff did some research. (for a change) Not absolute accuracy, but that's allowable, since no case is ever "typical," there’s always individual variation. We all have quirks.

    Now, it should be pointed out that in the real world such situations shouldn’t pop up too often. You don’t just spring Surprise! No blood! on your doctor. Ideally, JW’s speak to their doctors beforehand, in good times. Not all doctors are comfortable with the added challenge of bloodless medicine. It’s not right to broadside them. Not to mention the anesthesiologist, who often frets more than the surgeon.

    However, as mentioned, this was an emergency, brought on by a unabomber. They never wait for you to ask your doctor if bloodless medicine is right for you (and them).

    In court, Bobby doesn’t believe Rebecca’s a Witness. Jehovah’s Witnesses talk about their faith, he says. Rebecca never did. That’s a good point, Bobby. They do. But Mama has an answer. Rebecca, who is black, is so worn down by facing prejudice that she has learned to keep her mouth shut. Well…… maybe. It’s not impossible. Especially if you’re the poor girl from the humble background working for hot-shot TV lawyers! (though she always seemed to hold her own pretty well)

    What about blood cards? Bobby wants to know. Jehovah’s Witnesses carry blood cards. Rebecca didn’t have one. Right again, Bobby. They do. They’re called Medical Directives. Baptized witnesses have them. It’s odd Rebecca did not.

    In fact, I’d almost side with Bobby around now: that Rebecca is not really a Witness, and Mama’s just an imposter. But what about those affidavits?

    Lots of courtroom drama follows; The Practice could keep you riveted with courtroom drama. Bobby works himself into a frenzy. Rebecca can be saved, he charges at the bench, but…but for this….Voodoo religion! Mama calls him on it, and she never loses her cool. Yes, Bobby, you tipped your hand. This is not about respect for Rebecca’s conscience. This is about your own religious prejudice, pure and simple.

    The judge rules for Mama. I couldn’t believe it!

    Afterwards, no hard feelings. Indeed, there is respect, for Mama proved herself dignified and sound of mind. As if admitted to the bar, she and all the lawyers close the show around Rebecca’s bed, praying for recovery.

    The Rebecca actress must have received a better job offer that year, for they wrote her out of the plot. The transfusion episode was her last. Thus we don't know how she made out!

    Three videos are available from Jehovah’s Witnesses with regard to bloodless medicine. Click here to view them: (the 3rd, 4th, and 5th listings)

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    Tom Irregardless and Me     No Fake News but Plenty of Hogwash

     

  • A Bad End for Badfinger

    A favorite second-tier music group of mine is Badfinger, who cut some records in the 60’s and 70’s. First time I heard their music, I mistook them for the Beatles. In fact, Paul McCartney wrote their first hit song, and the group appeared on the Apple music label.

    I heard them on the radio again and became curious. Where are they today? I googled them.

    Wow, don’t ever do that! What a sordid tale! Fights with promoters, fights with critics, fights with each other. For a time, two estranged members both headed bands named Badfinger. Beaten down by legal and artistic hassles, one member hanged himself. A dozen years later, another member did exactly the same thing. You’d never guess these things from the music, which is catchy.

    Musicians don’t lead easy lives, and were it not too morbid, I would make my fortune marketing the Dead Musician Trivia Game. How did they die? I’ve yet to worry out all the rules, but I imagine the more dead musicians you could account for, the more points you would score.

    Once, in a while, musicians die honorable deaths…..George Harrison of cancer, for example…..and two or three of them have actually died from natural causes! All others, though, fall into one of the following categories: Plane crashes, drug overdose, suicide, with a handful of  sub-genres such as car crashes and murder.

    If it didn’t seem so morbid, I’d list them all. But it does seem morbid. So you have to do it yourself. Get out your old records albums and go through the groups. Use google if you have to. What a productive way to spend a rainy afternoon! Your Goth friends will be ecstatic.

    The solution, likely not too far away, is for Congress to require warning labels on all musical instruments, just as they do on cigarettes. Warning: regular playing of this instrument may lead to plane crash, drug overdose, or suicide. They love stuff like that up on Capital Hill. It gives the impression they are doing something.