Category: OT Historical Books

  • Did they tell Charles Darwin that God was picking flowers?

    Did they tell Charles Darwin that God was picking flowers?

    Charles Darwin’s favorite child, Annie, contracted scarlet fever at age 10. She agonized for 6 weeks before dying. Also a casualty was Darwin’s faith in a beneficent Creator. The book Evolution: Triumph of an Idea, by Carl Zimmer, tells us that Darwin “lost faith in angels.” That’s an odd expression. Why would it be used?

    Did they tell him that God was picking flowers?

    Is there any analogy more slanderous to God than the one in which God is picking flowers? Up there in heaven He has the most beautiful garden imaginable. But it is not enough! He is always on the watch for pretty flowers, the very best, and if He spots one in your garden, He helps himself, even though it may be your only one. Yes, He needs more angels, and if your child is the most pure, the most beautiful, happy, innocent child that can be, well….watch out! He or she may become next new angel. Sappy preachers give this illustration all the time, apparently thinking helps.

    The picking flowers analogy is nowhere found in the Bible. However, there is a parable parallel in all respects EXCEPT THE MORAL AT THE END. It is the one Nathan told to David after he had taken Bathsheba as a wife and killed her husband.

    “The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor.  The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle,  but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
    “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”
    David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die!  He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”
    Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!”             (2 Samuel 12:1-7)

    This analogy appeals to us. It is just. The man is not expected to take comfort that the king stole his wife. No, he deserves execution! So how is it that preachers have God doing the same, expecting it will comfort? Of course it will not! The man who stole the sole lamb deserves to die! Preachers make a horrific mess trying to extract themselves from the moral corners their doctrines unfailingly paint them into.

    How different history might have been had Darwin known the truth about death. Not just Darwin, but every one of his time, as well as before and after. Instead, fed a diet of phony pieties….junk food, really…..he and others of inquisitive minds searched elsewhere in an attempt to make sense of life.

    two doughnuts in brown box
    Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

     

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  • An Insular People—No Part of the World: Part 1

    There is a fine reality check in Deuteronomy to guard against Israel of old getting too big for its pants: “It was not because you were the most numerous of all the peoples that Jehovah showed affection for you and chose you, for you were the smallest of all the peoples.” (7:7)

    Got it. They weren’t a big deal on the world stage. So, when you read up on ancient history, as presented by anyone other than the believers, don’t be surprised that they are still not a big deal. You might be wowed, for example, by Jean-Pierre Isbouts relating the history of the ancient biblical world, and then say, ‘Whoa! Those Bible writers were so insular in their outlook! They saw everything in terms of their worship of God. They touch on secular events only insofar as it furthers their religious narrative.’

    Frankly, it reminds me of my own faith, also said to be ‘insular.’ Most Witnesses would not agree to the label ‘insular’, but that is primarily because they are unfamiliar with it and unsure just what attachments might come with it. They will instantly, even proudly, acknowledge two closely related phrases: they are ‘separate from the world’ and ‘no part of’ it.' It is a scriptural imperative, they will say, because if you want to lend a helping hand, you must be in a place of safety yourself.

    This is exactly what the stalwart ones of Israel did: they stayed ‘separate from the world,’ from that position later to benefit ones within it. “Jehovah your God I am, who has set you apart from the peoples. . . . You must be holy to me, because I, Jehovah, am holy, and I am setting you apart from the peoples to become mine.” (Leviticus 20: 24-26) They were separate, ‘set apart.’ They were not to mingle with those making no effort to be ‘holy’ or, with regard to God, to be ‘mine.’ Thus, it is not surprising that their writings (the Old Testament) might read as ‘insular,’ just as do the writings of the modern Christian congregation. What is insulation if not material to keep one substance ‘no part’ of another? Surely, that determination will be reflected in the writing. Compare the Bible writings with those of ancient secular history and you may say, ‘They barely know that an outside world exists!’

    Separation is resented by ‘the world,’ however. In this modern age of ‘inclusion,’ the very opposite of separateness, activists even try to make it illegal. Thus, within the Witness congregations, disfellowshipping, a last ditch effort, after all else has failed, to ensure that, either members stay true to the Christian way of life they have voluntarily chosen or else separate, is under ferocious legal attack today. It is an escalation of the scenario described at 1 Peter 4:3-4, where the apostle describes the world he and his separated from in not flattering ways:

    “For the time that has passed by is sufficient for you to have worked out the will of the nations when you proceeded in deeds of loose conduct, lusts, excesses with wine, revelries, drinking matches, and illegal idolatries. Because you do not continue running with them in this course to the same low sink of debauchery, they are puzzled and go on speaking abusively of you.” They speak no less abusively today, and are even inclined to add, “Water’s fine here in the low sink! Who are you to judge?”

    After the Holocaust, Jews discarded a lot of baggage that they deemed had caused them nothing but trouble. Belief in a coming messiah was among those items carted away. Maintaining separateness as a nation was another, even though the legal establishment of a homeland might suggest otherwise. From that homeland in the original ‘Promised Land,’ Jewish descendants operate in the arena of political nations, with no particular reliance upon God. God himself is a baggage that many left behind, as a direct consequence of that Holocaust. It is enough for them to keep alive Jewish tradition.

    Even that is enough to rile some non-Jews. But, since Jews make no special effort to pull people from the ‘low sink,’ they do not arouse the furor of those who wish to swim in it—or even return to it. Jehovah’s Witnesses do make that effort, however, and thus encounter pushback. Where do you think the name of my ‘house apostate,’ Vic Vomodog, comes from if not from the writings of Peter? “The dog has returned to its own vomit, and the sow that was bathed to rolling in the mire.” (2 Peter 2:22) In fact, he used to be ‘Vomidog,’ but several people said the name was disgusting, so I softened it to ‘Vomodog.’ It makes it easier to present him as a ‘Wily E Coyote’ type of fellow, eternally scheming against the Road Runner and eternally frustrated. So far, there is no Larry Lowsink, but I am thinking of introducing him as a companion. I might even make it a she—Loretta Lowsink, and have them married. Or I might just marry them gender-unchanged, in keeping with the spirit of the times.

    In real life, however, Vic and possibly Larry makes considerable trouble for those who are yet determined to stay separate from the world. They have had a few court cases go their way. For now, such outcomes tend to be reversed by higher, less activist courts, the kind that are quicker to spot ‘mischief by decree.’ But they press on, in accord with the greater agenda to make separation from the world illegal, in mandated ‘inclusion.’

    The reason I think this is the greater agenda is that today’s reality so closely conforms to Jesus’ words: “If you were part of the world, the world would be fond of what is its own. Now because you are no part of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, for this reason the world hates you.” (John 15:19) Therefore, all these efforts to frame mischief by degree are a facade. That is not to say they are nothing, but they mask the real reason Jesus gave. 

    The CSA court cases, not so much the cases themselves, but the brouhaha over them, for example, are largely a facade. They are like saying “Jehovah’s Witnesses have zits!” Everyone has zits. CSA is the Gross Planetary Product. Whatever ‘records’ Witnesses may or may not have that opponents say should become police property exist only because they attempted to police themselves, in accord with Romans 2:21-23: “You, the one preaching, ‘Do not steal,’ do you steal?  You, the one saying, ‘Do not commit adultery,’ do you commit adultery? You, the one abhorring idols, do you rob temples? You who take pride in law, do you dishonor God by your transgressing of the Law?" Even that is spun as an abuse of personal freedom by opponents. Only the police can police. If overall society comes to feel that adultery is not a biggie, for example, then you’re on thin ice trying to discipline people over it, even if it is in the bylaws that all agreed to.

    Continued in Part 2.

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  • Grab the Altar by the Horns

    D48513D0-802F-445C-A182-710458BB423DWhat is it with these guys and grabbing hold of the horns of the altar? It’s enough to think that an altar should have horns, let alone that you can save yourself by grabbing onto them. Twice it occurred in this week’s Bible reading, the first two chapters of 1 Kings:

    “Adonijah was also afraid because of Solomon, so he got up and went and grabbed hold of the horns of the altar.” (1:50)

    “When the news reached Joab—for Joab had supported Adonijah but he had not supported Abʹsa·lom—Joab fled to the tent of Jehovah and grabbed hold of the horns of the altar.” (2:28)

    What! Do they think it’s a good luck charm? 

    It seems that they must have, and there is a long tradition of miscreants taking refuge in a ‘holy place,’ thinking one will never desecrate the holy place by spilling their guts there. The first I heard of this was in ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame,’ where an entire chapter was devoted to someone who had sought, and was given, ‘assylum’ in an area of the church. Long as he stayed in that area, the law couldn’t touch him. (Alas, his actual offense, if it was one, I forget. Anyone know?)

    The lucky charm doesn’t work for Joab, who is pretty much of a hit man working for David but it turns out he is an ‘equal opportunity’ hit man, grabbing that one trusting fellow by the beard and gutting him with his sword, also running through David’s other son Absolom when his big head got stuck in a tree, in violation of David’s command not to harm to upstart. One other rival he killed as well. The guy was bad news. The horns of the altar don’t save him: 

    Then King Solʹo·mon was told: “Joab has fled to the tent of Jehovah, and he is there beside the altar.” So Solomon sent Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, saying: “Go, strike him down!”  So Benaiah went to the tent of Jehovah and said to him: “This is what the king says, ‘Come out!’” But he said: “No! I will die here.” Benaiah brought word back to the king: “This is what Joab said, and this is what he answered me.”  Then the king said to him: “Do just as he said; strike him down and bury him and remove from me and from the house of my father the blood that Joab spilled without just cause. Jehovah will bring his blood back on his own head, for without my father David’s knowledge, he struck down and killed with the sword two men more righteous and better than he was: Abner the son of Ner, the chief of the army of Israel, and Amasa the son of Jeʹther, the chief of the army of Judah.” (1 Kings 2: 30-32)

    It actually did work for Adonijah. There he is, his quest for power thwarted, after which he becomes afraid for his head, grabbing hold of the horns of the altar. ‘Look, if you behave, we’ll let you be,’ the new king Solomon tells him. And he does behave for a little bit but only a little bit. ‘See if you can get Solomon to give me David’s voluptuous nurse/bedmate Abishag as a concubine,’ he says to a seemingly clueless Bathsheba—and you begin to think that maybe a woman of more sense would check surrounding lines of vision before bathing in her birthday suit. 

    If Bathsheba doesn’t have a clue, Solomon sure does. ‘I should give him the concubine?’ he says. ‘Why not also the kingdom?’ Have relations with the concubine of a king and it means you are the new king. That’s why Absalom did just that with all David’s concubines when he was trying to seize the throne from him. It’s only at this conniving that Adonijah is put to death.

    Grab hold of the horns of an altar? It’s worth a try. “Honey, did you vacuum the house like I asked?” my wife said. Frantically, I looked around for some altar that I could grab my the horns. It didn’t work. She slayed me right there and then, as though Joab.

    Shimei probably had such a wife, because he is the third miscreant to go down, after Adonijah and Joab, and he doesn’t bother grabbing hold of any horns of any altar. He’s the guy that gave David such a hard time when fleeing from Saul. ‘You ratfink!’ he hollers, throwing stones at David and his men. ‘Let me take his head off,’ Abishai urges David, but the latter as much as says, ‘Well—maybe he has a point,’ and just keeps trudging along, stones bouncing off his helmet. His son has chased him out of town, he is fleeing for his life. We cannot know how much God’s rebuke that he would humiliate David as a consequence of his killing Uriah so as to take his wife weighed upon his thinking. At any rate, God was allowing his present distressing circumstances. Who was he to tell God what to do? Twice while I was writing ‘TrueTom vs the Apostates,’ the GB refered to that passage. I took from it that they were accepting the modern stones thrown at them as though discipline. Years later, Abishai wants to strike him down once again. David holds him back. (2 Samuel 16:5-13, 19:21)

    There is to be a day of reckoning, though, for Shimei. “The [Solomon] king then said to Shimei: ‘You know in your heart all the injury that you did to David my father, and Jehovah will bring back that injury on your own head.’” (1 Kings 2:44) He pays the price once the kingdom of Solomon is established. During the warring king’s lifetime, David gave him a free pass. 

    The Governing Body applying to themselves the taunts and insults of Shimei? Warring king David  lets him be, but his successor, Solomon, the king of peace, promptly calls him to account? And even gives him a form of asylum, which Shimei violates, triggering his own death? Put me in charge of antitypes. I haven’t even begun to play with how the organization holds back from apostate attacks today, contenting themselves only to fend off legal assaults, but once crunch time comes and the ‘Come, Lord Jesus!’ is about to ‘Stand up’ enemies go down as did Shimei. And—once again consistent with type/antitypes, they would know there is barely any point to grabbing hold of the horns of the altar so they wouldn’t do it.

    Three enemies go down to conclude the 1 Kings introduction: Adonijah, Joab, and Shimei, after which “the kingdom was firmly established in the hand of Solomon.” (1 kings 2:46) Sort of like a trinity that bites the dust. Oh yeah, dust off my resume as ‘Assigner of Antitypes. Go for it, Tommy.

     

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  • At the New System Dinner Table

    “Well, here we are at the New System dinner table. We’ve regaled each other with stories of how we all learned to get along and not take offense at each other’s stupid foibles before the world went more nuts than usual and how it all came in handy later on. And now—knock me over with a feather!—here with us is one of the faithful ones of old. Bob, we know you were a guard but you can uncuff him. He’s okay. (Sorry, he’s still learning to be trusting.) We all have so many questions to ask.”

    Mephibosheth: Yes I can see you all have many questions. And I’m ready to answer them. Fire away. Do you want more details on how I said about that liar Ziba who tried to flimflam me, ‘Let him take it all!’ because I was so overjoyed that King David (who foreshadows Jesus) had been restored to his throne? Pretty slick move, huh? Want to know more about that?

    Tablemates: Not just yet.

    Mephibosheth: Well, what then?

    Tablemates: What we want it know is, what in the world were your parents thinking when they gave you the absurdly unpronouncible name Meshibofeth? And why didn’t you change it when you came of age? Did you notice how even Brother Malenfont flubbed your name at the Regional? Brother Malenfont! who doesn’t flub anything! He flubbed your name! Seriously, how did you get named that?

    Mephibosheth: Well, I’ll tell you. It was just one of those things. Does that answer your question, Tom?

    Tom: Perfectly.

    Mephibosheth: Good. And now I have a question for you.

    Tom: Um—little ol me?—Sure, you can ask but I don’t see what . . .

    Mephibosheth: Did you really bust out laughing when you gave that Bible reading with my name four times in as many lines so that Charlie quipped he thought the earth was going to open and swallow the whole congregation because he had never heard someone guffaw during a Bible reading?

    Tom: Uh—well—I didn’t really guffaw. I just chuckled a little. I mean, I’d worked so hard on getting your name straight—it was there seven times in the talk, and I did get it straight at first but then in that final passage I messed it up, and—uh—it was sort of involuntary. I didn’t mean it. Sorry.

    Mephibosheth: That’s okay brother Tom. Here’s a verse for you that was in today’s WatchtowerStudy. It’s from Luke 12: 47-48:

    Then that slave who understood the will of his master but did not get ready or do what he asked will be beaten with many strokes.But the one who did not understand and yet did things deserving of strokes will be beaten with few.”

    We know you’re a clueless dope and you don’t mess up on purpose. Of course you are the one who doesn’t ‘understand’ because you don’t understand anything. So we’ll just beat you with few.

    Tom: Thank you, Brother Mephiberrpeth

    Mephibosheth: You can call me Phib.

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    To be continued: here

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  • Bonzo Territory

    The account at 1 Samuel 10:1-16 and 1 Samuel 19:19-24 on the goings on of prophets—both of these are weird. It isn’t easy to find material that explains it well….

    unless we enter Bonzo territory.

    Bonzo is an elder who follows me on social media so I try to make it worth his while by occasionally referring to him as “the worst speaker in the circuit, possibly the world.” Not to worry. He is actually a pretty good speaker and, as to my playful jabs, he says ‘keep them coming.’ He is not otherwise a large consumer of social media. Mostly he chimes in about golf.

    Bonzo offered the best take on the golden piles from 1 Samual 6 that I have heard yet. Making the axis lords send golden images of their piles is just the ultimate example of Jehovah doing something “in style”—the ultimate humiliation of those who resolutely put their trust in false gods:

    So they asked: “What guilt offering should we send to him?” They said… ‘You should make images of your piles and images of your mice that are bringing the land to ruin, and you should honor the God of Israel. Perhaps he will lighten the weight of his hand that is on you and your god and your land.” (6:4-5)

    With that as complementary backdrop, I posed: “The question is whether he, with such a grasp of biblical realism, will begin ‘behaving as a prophet’ after consideration of 1 Samuel 19:24”. That’s the verse about Saul taking off all his clothes. I watched Bonzo carefully during that Zoom meeting and he commendably refrained from that course, unless it happened when he turned his video off.

    It is he, too, who framed David and Saul’s little spat as a function of currying favor with the ladies. “The women would come out from all the cities of Israel  [all the women—“not just his mom and sisters,” he said] with song and dances to meet King Saul with tambourines, with rejoicing, and with lutes.  [They] would sing: “Saul has struck down his thousands, And David his tens of thousands.”  Saul became very angry, and this song displeased him…. (1 Samuel 18:7-8) 

    This is why every time I see a Philistine, I beat him up. I do it only to impress the ladies. If it worked then it should work now—just like it did for Will Smith.

    And Bonzo showed proper appreciation for this gem I tweeted about, a verse that I’d love to see featured, rather than some superfluous thing about fitting angels on a pinhead:

    At that Saul said…‘The king does not want any bride price except 100 foreskins of the Phi·lisʹtines, to take revenge on the enemies of the king.’ (1 Samuel 18:25)  WHAT?!…..1/3

    Not to be too crude here, but this was a common way of verifying kills during battle, so as not to be suckered by tall tales of braggarts  and to safeguard against ‘cheating’ by killing women.  (not recommended today. Just snap a battlefield photo with your smartphone).. 2/3

    No, I didn’t say this at the meeting……3/3

    This verse led to some discussion, someone posing the question of just what would you do with such a gift. I assigned that topic to him as personal research. To another who carried on about the bother of circumcising  a dead man, I said I suspected taking the foreskin was a colloquialism for taking their whole you-know-what, a derisive reference to how none of them were circumscised, something very important to a Jew. The Egyptians used to lop off right hands to verify their kills. Easier to get at, I suppose, but taking more space, and maybe after they rot in the sack for a few days it becomes hard to distinguish the right from a left hand (allowing someone to report two kills when there was only one) or making it hard to distinguish from that of a woman.

    I then lovingly and considerately added: “I hope you’re not eating lunch just now.”

    I’m not really sure about the purpose of the 100 foreskins. I’m extrapolating from Bob Brier’s lecture series on Egyptology in which he points out that Egypt was “a nation of accountants” that kept track of everything, including kills of the enemy which they verified by collecting right hands.

    Charles Israel, who wrote the book Rizpah, misses that nuance entirely, and just writes about the obscenity of Saul’s request. Rizpah was one of Saul’s concubines. She is mentioned only twice in scripture, but because I had previously read that work of historical fiction, I knew all about her when she came up in the rotation, much to the surprise of my offspring. That book works from the same set of facts as the Bible, yet manages to paint Saul as the wronged hero and David the ambitious upstart, his “treachery” covered up by “lying scribes.” I was surprised at how easy it was to do, and by extension, how any tale can be told from a different point of view. Rizpah being Saul’s concubine, she is not overly disposed to be kind towards David.

    Alas, the way we insist upon sanitizing everything, when she came up in the Bible gems she was lauded for her great love of God’s law, beating away the birds and critters so they wouldn’t devour the corpses of her dead impaled sons, as though absent God’s law, she wouldn’t have batted an eyelash.

    Then [Saul] handed them over to the Gibʹe·on·ites, and they hung their dead bodies on the mountain before Jehovah. All seven of them died together; they were put to death in the first days of harvest, at the start of the barley harvest. Then Rizʹpah the daughter of Aʹiah took sackcloth and spread it out on the rock from the start of harvest until rain poured down from the heavens on the bodies; she did not allow the birds of the heavens to land on them by day nor the wild beasts of the field to come near by night. (2 Samuel 21:9-10)

    They were her sons. She probably went mad.

     

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